I couldn’t start a new blog without including the first guest post I’d gotten in the last year! So here it is, the first of what should be many guest posts to come! Look out for the authors of these posts, you never know, they may have a blog of their own and have interesting things to say!
Yes, it’s Fobs! So that’s enough from me, I won’t keep you further.
The word that seems to fascinate and intrigue a lot of people and one of the internet’s favourite topic.
When you say you’re single, people usually associate it with loneliness. Some people seem to always need some kind of affirmation when they declare that they don’t have a significant other like it’s some kind of a disease that needs to be treated. If the only way that you can validate your existence is through a connection with the opposite sex, appreciating yourself becomes much much more difficult.
If you have been single for a while, not only do you question yourself but your family and friends start to as well. I’ve had people question my sexuality at some point which I just found quite funny because clearly, I can’t be considered a straight 20-something woman if I don’t have a lover. It’s like calling a hairless cat a rat because it doesn’t have fur 😀. This is not to say that I find my singleness easy or blissful. As a matter of fact, It’s quite a struggle at times especially when you feel like you’re being put under pressure or you’re being examined for enjoying your own company. We don’t always just brush off what everyone says. Usually those things stay in our minds for a while and it keeps running…and running…and running.
It’s not insignificant nor worth thinking about. Eventually, you will wonder why or when or how. The best that you can really do at times like this is to not push these thoughts aside but instead, reflect on them.
Just recently, I experienced something that tested my belief on being single. I thought a prospect of a relationship has suddenly presented itself to me. I got way over-excited and I set my expectations too high, only to find them being knocked down every single time. I felt like I did some incredibly stupid things to grab a hold of what wasn’t even there in the first place. For the first time after a while, I absolutely resented my singleness. I felt incredibly insecure, inadequate and way out of my comfort zone. It was incredibly painful to embrace these feelings because I never wanted them but I knew fighting it would only make it so much worse. So despite being emotionally drained, I went with the flow. It was a constant battle between what I felt and what I thought and I usually ended up going with what I felt. It was definitely not the most pleasant time of my life but through this, I was able to realize how much I have been glamorizing the idea of being “single“.
Here are some of the realities of being single:
You get a bit defensive when someone asks you why you’re single
Can we just leave it as because we’re too fabulous?
You have a bunch of scenarios in your head on how you’re going to meet “the one”
On a packed train, our eyes will suddenly meet…then we’ll look away. THE END.
You’ll feel a bit…empty
Do you ever feel…like a plastic bag? – Katy Perry
You unconsciously look at other couples
I wanna be where the people are….KFC, Mcdonalds, Burger King.
Happiness is a choice
I choose the #happylife. One day, the #happylife will be the one to choose me.
If you’ve ever felt dissatisfied being single, in this day and age, I’m telling you that’s the most normal thing you can feel. You are after all surrounded by unrealistic love stories and fairy tales! But don’t let that faze you. We will get our time. When the day comes when we can move on from being Single to In a Relationship, I know it will all be worth it.
Keep holding on my single bros and sisters! ♥
(Just a note from Feather: If you like this post by Fobz, why don’t you check out the blog she owns with Mini! Trust me it’s good! Oh and don’t forget to give them some love too, subscribe to them on Facebook, Twitter and Google)